Summer Vacation: Day 8

Alas, all good things must come to an end, and so it was with summer vacation with Daddy Jane and Grandpa Mel.

After packing and leaving the hotel, during which Helios helpfully wheeled out the luggage he shared with Hesperos, the family went to the local Denny's to meet Daddy Jane and Grandpa Mel for brunch and make our final farewells.






Although it looks quite like a routine brunch here, it was punctuated by visits to the restroom approximately every 10 minutes as Helios announced to the entire restaurant, "I need to go POTTY!" Sometimes he would put the phrase to music, occasionally telling us exactly what he needed to do in the restroom. While the format of a blog doesn't lend itself to notating music, you can share in a small part of our dining experience if you imagine the tune of "Happy Birthday" but with the words instead of, "I need to go potty, I need to go potty, I need to go water yucky, I need to go potty." When he wasn't rushing back-and-forth to the restroom, he was busy building bridges and trains with creamers and cutlery, before becoming bored with that activity and comparing teeth with Grandpa Mel.



Hesperos, on the other hand, eschewed such frivolities and simply kicked back on Daddy Jane's lap while munching on a handy spoon. He wasn't much for talking that day, preferring instead to enjoy what may have been the last few moments of attention that was totally devoted on him and his accomplishments, however minute. Does he eat a bite of applesauce? He's such a good eater! Does he lunge for a cup of scalding hot coffee? He's so fast! Does he drool incessantly and cough up a fur ball? He's just the cutest thing ever! Does he make a dirty diaper? He's...going back to Mommy and Daddy. Yes, even the love of grandparents has its limits. (Although we count our blessings that at least Hesperos doesn't sing about the substance that issues from his nether regions.)




After brunch, we all made our farewells to the sadness of all, but particularly for Daddy Jane and Grandpa Mel. We trundled ourselves off to the airport to make the 10-hour flight home. Once in the plane, Helios was mellow and fell asleep quickly. Daddy slumped over and took a snooze. Mommy read another excruciatingly dry book. And Hesperos just giggled at it all.

Summer Vacation: Day 7

Part of our summer vacation included a planned visit to what Daddy Jane called the "Please Touch Me" museum. We were fairly sure that the museum was intended to have lots of things a child could play with and touch, but we couldn't escape the feeling that the name invoked thoughts of Michael Jackson's Neverland. It is, in fact, named the "Please Touch" Museum, and there was, comfortingly, no trace of the Gloved Wonder to be found.






The museum is two stories of activities for children of about 6 and younger, including a "grocery store", farm, treehouse, and family kitchen, all appropriately pint-sized. Elsewhere, there a flamingo-and-chipmunk croquet game (from Alice's Wonderland), a two-story slide, and a fishing pond. To the left is a picture of Helios doing some grocery shopping in the supermarket. After he filled the cart, he went to the checkout stand where Mommy played cashier. In a manner that is surely intended to prepare us for his teenage years, Helios turned to Daddy and said, "I need money, Daddy! Get out your wallet!"

Hesperos had a good time at the play farm on site where stuffed livestock and plastic produce can be found. Apparently, he developed a liking for plastic turnips in his course around the farm area, which may feature prominently in a future meal. Hesperos started to get pretty cuddly with the resident sheep, too, taking a bite or two out of its hopefully-recently-cleaned ear.

After checking out what it's like to be Farmer Hesperos, it was time to see what the finer style of life was like during a visit to Alice's Wonderland. Hesperos enjoyed tea time with the March Hare and Mad Hatter, but upsetting a few teapots along the way.






While Hesperos was supping, Helios was at the other end of the building doing his Bob the Builder imitation as he nailed planks to the side of a treehouse and connected some water pipes. Occasionally other children would run around the treehouse, trying to help. It got a little tense at one point because some other tow-headed youngster thought he could help out with the hammer but a single scowl from Hesperos let him know that his contractor's license was no good in this town. Daddy Jane was apparently the only helper Helios could tolerate, probably because she was cast in the role of "adoring fan."

Later on, Helios tried out his transportation-related skills. First, he pretended to pump gas in a wooden vehicle. This was true fantasy because Helios lives in the People's Socialist Republic of the Pacific where pumping your own gas isn't allowed (supposedly due to a fire law, although it's probably because the state is trying to preserve minimum-wage, no-value-added jobs). Afterward, he tried his hands at driving a SEPTA train car where his vertically challenged little body was quite incapable of seeing out the window while keeping his feet on the pedals.

While Helios was scampering around like an endangered rabbit, Hesperos was winding down, spending the last half hour or so of the day simply looking at the good looking baby in the mirror and practicing standing on his own two feet.


The day ended with the obligatory visit to the museum gift store that is conveniently placed between the attractions and the exit, and concluded with two very sleepy boys passed out in the backseat of the car dreaming, no doubt, of being little adults.

Summer Vacation: Day 6

Memorial Day brought Daddy Jane's family from near and slightly further away over to their home where the boys had a chance to meet their more extended family, all of which Hesperos met for the first time. This afforded a great opportunity for each boy to try out all of his own tricks on a new (and fawning) audience. Hesperos again wiggled his diapered bottom as he did his one-armed zombie crawl across the room and giggled enchantingly when tickled. Helios, upon prompting from Daddy Jane, spelled each word from his internal catalogue, dimpling appropriately to the applause.

Hesperos helped beat the heat by keeping his head wet and hair spiky. Meanwhile, Helios did "suicide runs" down the hill toward the creek behind Grandpa Mel's and Daddy Jane's backyard, daring Daddy and Uncle Scooter to chase him.

Again, luckily for Mommy and Daddy, there was a whole new cast of characters (Daddy's cousins) who were too young to have children of their own but old enough to enjoy playing with Helios and Hesperos, allowing Mommy to play a game of Scrabble (lost to Daddy's youngest cousin, Jamie, but beating out cousin Humphrey with his double-degree in architecture) and Daddy to hang out and enjoy a beer with his brothers.

Thanks to the generosity of the boys' Great Aunt Agnes and Uncle Bob, and Great Aunt Beverley and Uncle Humphrey Sr., Helios and Hesperos were showered with little gifts, including books, outfits, and, to Helios' delight, a large-sized tractor puzzle. Great Aunt Agnes helped him piece it together and then, for some inexplicable reason, pretended to blow at the camera for reasons unremembered. The tractor puzzle is still so enjoyed, Helios often tries to sleep with it (inside its box) at night.

Summer Vacation: Day 5

In observance of Memorial Day, the family turned out in its (more or less) family best to honor Grandpa Mel and Uncle Agrippa, both who have served in the U.S. Army. A special service for the military was given the local church where little flags were handed out. This inspired much flag-waving and many (thwarted) opportunities to poke out eyeballs, big and small.

Afterward, we went out onto the church lawn to allow Daddy Jane and Grandpa Mel to show off their grandchildren. Of course, this was all done under the guise of admiring the weather and sharing tidings of good health. (Imagine the conversation: "Well, hi! How are you? We haven't seen you in so long! Oh, have you met my grandson? Let him spell for you.") Be assured that there were no suave transitions into this conversation. The poor, hapless parishioners were helpless and surrounded by over-exuberant grandparents.

The picture shown here is one of about 75 taken during the two hours we were at church. This picture was particularly chosen out of sheer malovence because more than 75 pictures were taken and not a single one came out. The children were better looking at the camera than the adults and Daddy was the least attentive. So, this is the one that gets published.

Summer Vacation: Day 4

If you're a 2-year-old little boy, how do you spell "vacation"? T-R-A-I-N-S.

Day 4 of summer vacation was spent going to Pennsylvania Dutch country where we took a 30-minute ride on a steam engine, perused the train gift store (or ran through it like rioting chimpanzees, depending on who you were), and viewed the locomotive museum. Whereas some of us find museums to be only slightly less yawn-inducing than attending a lecture on the history of the umlaut or reading a book about the patent history of the paperclip (the latter of which, by the way, Mommy just read), apparently train museums are the legal version of crack-cocaine to little boys.

Upon boarding the steam engine, we all promptly took our seats. Nothing, from Hesperos' perspective, is complete unless it has been christened by his drool. Consequently, to Mommy's horror, Hesperos, at first opportunity, latched onto the seat that has hosted the backs of thousands of tourists (shudder) and decided to chomp on its plush goodness. Helios, oblivious to germs, people, food, or, in fact, anything at all, echoed the train whistle at every opportunity shouting "choo-choo!" While Hesperos was passed from lap-to-lap, including a visit to Uncle Agrippa's lap (Uncle Agrippa apparently has a fascination with chubby babies, although we drew the line at comments about cankles and large thighs), Helios practically bounced from side to side of the passenger car in order to admire the train from all possible angles.

Later we visited the Railroad Museum of Pennsylvania (yawn) where Helios gleefully wound his way around engines of all sizes and ages, demonstrating spritely interest reminiscent of his uncles the first time they saw the bar waitresses at The Library in Tempe, AZ. Hesperos was more pragmatic in his appreciation, confining his tastes to a well-placed chomp or two on a book about the Little Red Caboose.

At the end of the day, in spite of massive sensory overload and not a single nap, both boys were still going strong, albeit with glazed and glassy faces. Without question, this was the day to end all days and quite possibly the highlight of their summer.