Helios = Cat, Hesperos = Dog

There's a joke that's been floating around the Internet for some time now about dogs and cats, supposedly an excerpt from their diaries. Here's a little sample of it below, but the whole thing can be read here:

The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Evil people!!

Anyone who has spent much time with the boys would probably agree that Hesperos is the dog and Helios is the cat.

Hesperos's Diary:
6:15 am - Ooh, nursing! My favorite thing!

7:00 am - You're changing my diaper? I love you! Oooh, those wet wipes look so delicious!

7:15 am - Yay, a drive into daycare for the next 45 minutes! That makes me so happy! Daddy is cursing at the other drivers. It makes me giggle! Helios is staring at my toy because he wants to wrench it from me. Here, Helios, have my toy! Oh, look...feet! My favorite thing!

8:00 am - Daycare, you say? The next 9 hours in a room with a bunch of other babies, none of whom who are as happy as I am? Yay, my favorite thing!

8:30 am - Diaper change! My favorite thing!

8:45 am - Oooh, green beans for snack. My favorite thing!

9:15 am - My face is getting scrubbed. My favorite thing!

10:00 am - Crawling! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Napping! My favorite thin...zzzzzzzzzzzz....!

Helios's Diary:
Day 880. Every day is a new exercise in agony. Today I was warm and ensconced in blankets when the parental unit who calls herself "Mama" wrenched me from my warm cocoon and forced me into clothing. We walk to this torture unit called "the potty" where I take great satisfaction in leaving behind remnants of the unworthy meal they fed me last night. It never fails. No matter how stinky and disgusting I make it, that harpy of a woman and the oaf who is called "Daddy" continue to prattle on about how proud they are of me. Do they have no sense?

Later, I allow them to garb me in clothing befitting my station as an engineer-in-training: jeans and a Thomas the Tank Engine shirt. They mutter some incantation about "putting left foot in, taking the left foot out, shaking it all about." What does this mean? Must learn this strange voodoo they sing.

Ah, yes. Time for the car which the Daddy-oaf has warmed pleasantly for me. At least he has done something correctly. I'm lifted into my chair and pinned in by belt straps. No matter how much I examine them, I can't yet figure out how to break free. Will continue to contemplate. Meanwhile, that drooling buffoon who they tell me is my brother continues to stare at me while gnawing a teether. Strange. I never noticed that teether before. Give it to me! That's mine. MAMA! THAT'S MY TEETHER! Ah, yes. Clearly recognizing my superior intelligence, the cheerful imp hands over the teether. Mmmm...HEY! There's drool on this. Disgusting! No, no, I didn't say take it away. I'll still keep it. Now, drive, Daddy-oaf, drive my chariot.

Helios the Builder and His Helpful Sidekick, Hesperos

A few days ago, we completed (yet another) home improvement/remodeling project. Generally, we try to do projects on the sly when the children are otherwise occupied (preferably asleep) to save ourselves from persistent offers of help or the ferreting away of tools. However, we thought this pantry remodel would be quick so we dared to do it during normal waking hours.

Helios, in the role of Bob the Builder, was ever present. We bought him his own set of play tools for Christmas 2005 but he eschews those. We suspect he's not interested in them because we don't produce any squeals of alarm when he wields his plastic screwdriver in the air wildly. We try to give him little jobs as we can, generally involving bagging screws and picking up debris. But, he's no fool and he's rarely satisified with that for long before he goes for the big guns (meaning the drill, of course).

Hesperos, on the other hand, is characteristically "chilled" and is literally just kicking back while everyone else works. Briefly he was interested in getting into all of the pantry items that were temporarily sitting on the floor while we worked but then something shiny caught his eye (one of Helios' coveted trains that Hesperos would've never had the opportunity to even breathe on had his brother been paying attention) and he quickly abandoned his effort to cause pantry mischief in favor of mischief of another kind ... specifically causing his brother anxiety. ("No, Hesperos, no! *finger shake* My trains! Naughty Hesperos!")

And here's the bonus picture for the day, since I couldn't think of a story to weave around it. In between improvement projects, children must be fed (and napped). So, while Hesperos was trapped in his high chair during a project pause, Helios took the opportunity to give his little brother kisses and tickle his knees. Hesperos responded in kind by trying to fit in a few grabs of Helios' hair.

Potty Precocity?

Like most parents, we tend to be especially proud of every little accomplishment and milestone attained by both Helios and Hesperos. It is hard to not be just the tiniest bit smug when your child is potty-trained before others or can spell words or is the size of the incredible hulk. (Why is it a source of pride when your offspring is the size of Jabba the Hut? I don't know.)

But, even I must admit that it's a little strange when an infant takes to the potty. Yet, a couple of nights ago, Hesperos started to make some tell-tale sounds and turn various colors in the red family while in the bathtub. The only likely causes were either a need to perform a bodily function or having swallowed a particularly large and disgusting bug. Since no bugs were around (and since he's not so choosy right now about what goes in his mouth), we assumed the bodily function.

Thanks to Daddy's stealth maneuvers, perfected through the last 8-9 years of being around offspring, nieces, and nephews who issue forth fluid from all possible bodily orifices, Hesperos was removed from the bath with lightening speed and placed on the potty where he proceeded to "do his business" (as one of his grandmothers would say).

Hesperos' exuded glee was matched only by an equal amount of dismay on his brother's face that his little brother was using his potty. And so the fun begins...

Thank You, Easter Bunny!

The Easter Bunny came this year and was characteristically generous to the children. In fact, under the guise of various grandparents, aunts, and uncles, the Easter Bunny visited multiple times, every time to the delight of both boys.


Hesperos' official Easter basket contained a set of blocks which, apparently, are instructional, colorful, and delightfully tasty. The Easter Bunny, omnipotent with his knowledge of what parents will/won't allow children to have, thoughtfully brought Hesperos wheat-free teething crackers instead of chocolate. In this picture, Hesperos is gazing heavenward to give thanks to the holy powers for this especially tasty holiday.

Helios also had a good Easter. Of course, there was the obligatory train gift in his basket plus a super-sized MagnaDoodle already decorated with a self-portrait of the Easter Bunny. Helios' basket was filled with little nut-free chocolate eggs which were a tasty, if questionably healthy, supplement to breakfast. Although, given Helios' chronically terrible bed head, a comb might've been a better gift choice.

The Walking Wounded

Yesterday, Helios suffered a battle wound. Regrettably, this was not the result of getting too close to a much-beloved train or even touching a fire truck. His tiny fingertip got squished in a door hinge. Naturally, he howled. Mama hugged him and told him it was okay without ever looking at his hand. When the weeping finally subsided and his hand was examined, Mama commented, "Oh, no. Does that hurt?" Predictably, that spawned a whole new bout of sniffling.

Upon further investigation, the injury appears to be limited to the entire nail of Helios' ring finger having fallen off (a fairly painful event, I'm sure). It doesn't seem that any part of his finger was damaged. His Aunt Tiffany held him while his finger was cleaned and wrapped, and even had her finger bandaged as well to show comraderie.

Helios' injury might've been the best thing to happen to him though. Not only was he endlessly cuddled and doted on by Aunt Tiffany, but he was treated to a large mixing bowl full of popcorn and allowed to watch an extra-long episode of Thomas & Friends and Caillou.